Yesterday I had my dreaded hospital appointment, the one I have been patiently waiting 6 months for.
I’m so relieved to say it was good news! Tumour marker came back negative! So the nodule must just be a lymph node.
I see a new consultant every time I go which means I can’t build a relationship with the person who I am meant to put all my faith in. Up until now all the consultants I have seen have been rude, rushed and have treated me like just a number.
Yesterday I saw Mr. Balfour for the first time. He is a surgeon who performs the thyroidectomy then sees you for every check up after. Well for other people anyway.
To my surprise he was amazing. He talked me through the results of my scan, explaining what he could see and what it all meant. He showed me my blood results on a graph so I can gain some understanding of what’s going on in my body.
He explained that my TSH has to be suppressed to stop the cancer coming back, which I knew and that it was on the perfect level. My T4 was ‘toxically high’ (in his words) and my T3 was within the normal range. He asked if I suffered with headaches, insomnia, tachycardia, heart palpitations and more. He was describing me to a tea! I told him about my 6 day migraines and cluster headaches and the fact that they get so intense they make me sick. I explained about my GP not giving a shit and giving me sleeping tablets. You could see the empathy in his face, he genuinely cared about how I felt. It was like a breath of fresh air. In one half an hour appointment he had restored my faith in medical professionals.
I ticked about 9 out of 10 common symptoms for hyperthyroidism and annoyingly the only one I didn’t have was weight loss. My body had been in overdrive, like a furness on full steam…but I was still piling on the pounds. Still gaining weight faster than I can get rid of it. Ive gone from always being the skinny one, not having to watch what I eat to the one who now has people saying ‘well you carry it well’ and ‘I think you look better for it’. Although you think thats nice and helpful, its really not.
I have gained 2 dress sizes since my operation 4 years ago. Although that might not sound a lot to some people, to me it’s massive. Pardon the pun.
So because my levels were dangerously high, Mr. Balfour has lowered them. This will mean all of the horrible headaches should go away as well as the other gross symptoms. I actually can’t wait for a day where I’m headache free! But the negative side to lowering my dose mean more weight loss. If my body is not burning the fat on full steam, god knows what it is going to do at a normal pace.
So it’s a choice between headaches or weight loss!
Health has to come first, so thats it, dose lowered. Goodbye skinny beach dream, hello increasing weight. argh.
He has promised me I will see him at my next appointment in January, where he will keep changing my dose until its perfect.
So yes its shit, but my god it could have been a lot worse. I feel like a weight has been lifted at last. 6 months of worry, bringing up old fears and memories all gone.
It’s much too easy to let the bad things in life consume you. I haven’t wrote a blog for a while as I was not in the right place and didn’t want to be that depressive girl who only ever moans about what’s wrong with her. I am not that girl with no thyroid, I’m me. I drink far too much wine, shout at my kids far too much and binge watch way too much Corrie. But I’m bloody happy.
Now I can look forward again. It’s 39 days exactly until I marry my amazing fiancé and celebrate with my family and friends.
Lifes pretty good